This was sort of discussed in IRC, but somehow the point was missed.
I was trying to point out the flaws in zombies:
<Me>:Vampires: undead, but so fucking smart
<Me>:ghosts: also undead, but they’re always asking you for shit (“please find my corpse!”)
<Me>:Zombies: :”RRrrrrrraaaaaaahgghhhhhhhhh”
Do you see it? The only thing that zombies have going for them is the horde – a relentless stream of undead monsters. Sure, they’re creepy as hell, but if they were simply as smart as the average human, and had the ability to drive cars, run and other useful human tasks, the zombie warrior would be much more formidable.
Because …. how do we kill vampires? with lots of sun, wooden stakes, and a whole lot of shit.
How do we kill ghosts? ghost traps mainly. other methods include bringing the corpse of the ghost to “peace”, voodoo, or something else thats really complicated.
Zombies? Why, simply shoot them in the brains as they WALK toward you.
(Animated skeletons, ghouls, and DeadNed can be slain by using the priest spell “turn undead”)
So clearly there is huge potential for these wretched creatures. In fact, imagine this as a plot in a movie/video game:
The hero lives in a small village, discovers that he has an enchanted sword (foretold in a large magic, swirling pot), and is capable of destroying the evil that has crept across the land, and now is threatening his village.
Along the way he befriends a magical talking dog, and some other crazy creatures.
he finally gets to the evil lords HQ, and finds it filled with, you guessed it ZOMBIES. and a dragon. so he kills everything, and the princess kisses him, game over, the end.
or how about this one:
A huge tornado blows away a Kansas farm girl to the gory, strife riddled wastelands of “Ys”, and has to blast her way out using a (magic) Flamethrower, Chainsaw, and Bazooka against the, you guessed it, zombie nation.
the kicker is that she has the way back home the entire time, in the form of rocket pack from destroying an undead zombie sorcerer.
or perhaps this one:
the evil zombie empire is building a huge weapon capable of destroying huge fleets of star ships, and even planets. However a faction of the non-zombies has risen up to defeat this killer weapon.
Ultimately, a sorcerer and his apprentice are able to tap into the supernatural to destroy the zombie empire’s weapon by targeting an exhaust port found on the surface of the weapon.
or maybe:
in the near future, DNA testing has become so prevalent, that the only way to apply for a job is to submit your DNA. however the protagonist, a zombie, aspires to be a big time engineer, but lacks the genetics to be accepted, so he has to use fake DNA to outwit his co-workers and Boss.
